Times and times again, the people of Karachi have been to places such as Empress’ Market and Lee Market. Well, come on, where else can one find cheap stuff with quality? These places are like the touchstones of being Karachite. If you haven't been to any one of them than it would be safe to say that you're not a “real” Karachite.
But our favorite touchstones are being crushed under the enormous power of Thanos or, in our case, KDA. Well, just like Thanos, KDA was too working and collecting its infinity stones one after the other, and the only difference was the fact that the previous governments were the Avengers standing stiff right in front of them and dismaying him from snapping his fingers; unleashing the infinity war.
But as we recently lost our Avengers when the goddess of Democracy unshackled it's wrath upon them and crushed them under it or by a much popular opinion when our S.H.I.E.L.D ( aka “the men in khakis”) finally decided they had enough of them and toppled down the Avengers’ tower only to let in Deadpool with his X-Force. Therefore, just to notch up things a little bit, Wade (Deadpool, aka current government) decided that they should instead join hands with Thanos and instead of war, let him snap his fingers. Neither Thanos or Deadpool made a go of this opportunity and therefore unleashed upon us the power of his infinity gauntlet, eventually disintegrating the galaxy of illegal settlements to dust, causing upon us the significant encroachment.
Shop after shop, the not so legal; legal settlements got plagued and started disintegrating to dust. Obviously, though the Avengers were powerless, yet they didn't lose their valor, courage, and, most importantly, they had a huge fan following who could not stop supporting them. It's like Tony and miss Potts or Thor and Jane; no matter what they do, their counterparts wouldn't stop backing them, and likewise, our Avengers have their crazy counterparts too. Call them loonies or toonies. Call them brains or drains. Call them Jiyalas or Piyalas. Call them Patwaris or Lawaris. They exist and would try hard to undo the doings of Thanos or rather, more importantly, doings of the Deadpool.
The blind supporters are now rooting for the Falcons of illegal settlements and claimed that with the doings of KDA, the poor falcons have nowhere to earn from. I mean come on, isn't it right that the Falcons sit at their not-so-legal legal settlements and receive via looting the hard-earned money of us, the Karachite. Hard-earned? I know I know if you earn money by honesty and hard-working in Pakistan; it's not hard-earned, but hey! I have been sarcastic all over the post; therefore, who cares!
Anyhow, people are rooting against the Thanos and The Deadpool (or, in our case, the KDA, and the PTI Government). How dare did they encroach the not-so-legal legal settlements? I mean, the occupant did pay a rent of rupees five each month since the creation of Pakistan in 1947. Shouldn't they be given that rent back? How dare did a government thought it would be okay to take land they own from illegal occupants? Because we wouldn't do the same if let's say someone comes and settles right in front of your house and starts to pay you rupees 5 each month and use benefits worth rupees 15000 or more each month. How hypocritical of the government? I mean, the illegal Afghan refugees should continue to live in Pakistan and eat us from within like the termites living in wood because obviously they are refugees and that may have been buying a thing or two from Pakistan. Right?
With the KDA's snap leading to an eventual disintegration of not-so-legal legal settlements, many dreams have been uprooted. The vision of eating beef kebab only to find out later that it's the meat of an even better animal, a sporadic one; either a dog, snake, or a donkey (mostly Lahoris are addicted to it). Secondly, the dream of buying overpriced vegetables considering they need extra hard work to be grown from the extremely hygienic sewage water. But most importantly, the thought of buying Nike, Adidas, and Gucci at a price that would beat all the Black Friday sales ( or in our case white Friday because we didn't exactly know the meaning of Black Friday). I mean, at these prices, there isn't any hosh-posh compared to the one outside of Target or Walmart on Black Friday. It's a year around the sale, and people of Pakistan dare to go and bargain further. Imagine buying a Marks & Spencer's shirt at 5 bucks or lower. This is for all the brands that you could ever imagine. Thrift shops are cheaper than the cheapest thrift shop in the most affordable in the city all over America.
With them gone, there's no way for wannabe whites such as me to get a branded shirt, wore it after dry cleaning it and use my shitty Pakistani accent in a desperate attempt to sound like I belong to Uncle Sam and instead of one I have 50 stars engraved on my heart. Out of everything, this is the saddest news for many of us. How are all the mailas gonna look all nifty now? How are all the aunties brag about being tiptoed, brand models? How are all the impecunious hopeless habitue fulfill the demands of their inamorata?
Now the people rooting against Deadpool's collaboration with Thanos should realize the fact that the people settled on those places were, in fact there legally, because being illegal is the new legal in Pakistan, and weren't paying tax, again something that's within our norm. Now when they got encroached or disintegrated, many demanded an alternate place for them, but that logic is beyond understanding. Why should a government make arrangements for people who occupied their land? It's like saying that instead of sending the illegal Afghan refugees back, they should be given a safe haven no matter what they do or plans on doing.
But the most important of all is the fact how would we be able to fill in the space left by all the thrift shops gone. I mean, we are so vibrant, and we definitely need to show that by buying brands, but with the thrift shops gone, how is it possible? With that query in my mind, I used my best friend, Jarvis, Google, and it unleashed upon me this whole new power. A power where I don't even have to move my not-so-active active body, and with rates cheaper than the cheapest of the Pakistani thrift shop, I would be able to once again live my dream of being a desi white wannabe.
But with all those disintegrated pieces of Jarvis trying to save my dreams, there are also some Ultron trying to dominate us by offering us offers that we can and should refuse. These Ultrons (or in our case Daraz, Telemart, and home-shopping, etc.) each day try and grasp us to dominate us so that we trust them with or easy-earned money for them to loot us once again.
But, like the customs of the world or Marvel Cinematic Universe, Ultron can never defeat mankind as there is always a Jarvis living there in it's disintegrated form to stop it. It just needs a Banner and a Stark to make sure it's collected and made into a Vision. I am not sure about would about whether there would be a Stark or Banner to make a Vision, but I am sure there are Jarvis, and I have felt their presence.
Jarvis or many of those thrift shops alternative start-ups on Instagram or Facebook are what we need now. As of now, just like Jarvis, they are in pieces unaware of their power, but even then, they are powerful enough to help me look like a desi white wannabe, and by the of this crap of blog; you too would be unleashed with one. I hope it will work to protect you from all the Ultrons around.
My Jarvis: https://www.facebook.com/thriftbazar/
I hope it serves you well.
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